Today I learn that nothing is what it seems. People say they love you, but their action disagrees. People smile at you today, and jeer at you for the rest of the week. Everything is fleeting, moving in opposite direction. Consider yourself important, yet that never was the case. Pretend to be strong, when in truth you're weak and tries to deny it. I care none for their insecurities, only what I could see in front of me. I think knowing what you want and work towards that goal earnestly everyday is so much better than talking about impossible dream.
Last year proves to be the hardest year in my life yet, but somehow at the end of the tunnel - i found the light. Going back to my own belief helps to improve my life tremendously. When I pray, I feel comforted, calm. Even when no one is on my side, I know He's there - watching over me, caring me in a way that no other human can. Listening to my worries, paving the way that its the best for me. I just wanted be in that haze forever and ever, but being human - I know there's a time I'll slip again.
My only wish is i don't.
Lately, I found that the more effort I gave, the more result I can see happening. Perhaps I was stingy before, uncaring - these days, I try to care for things I love. When my heart is set on something, I will see to it comes to fruition. It may not be perfect sometimes, but at least - I know I'm trying.
I got half of my dreams realized by the end of last year. This year I'll try to fulfill another half. I'm gonna keep trying while praying to Him to ease the way for me. Maybe I will fail. Maybe I won't. There's no way knowing unless I try. I wish I could do some good for others this year to, probably more than I normally give out. There's plenty of people out there who needs our help without us realizing it.
It's still early of the year. There's so much things i wanted to do, achieve. I hope I'll have a lot of strength to do it and my health would allows me. God-willing.
Yours truly,
Mimi
